Monday, September 15, 2008


I mentioned that we went to a wedding this weekend.

It was beautiful. Set against a backdrop of the sun setting over the Puget Sound, with Victoria, BC's twinkling lights off in the distance, it was like a picture out of Sunset magazine. There was even a doe grazing in the meadow behind the wedding party.

The wedding wasn't a big to-do, but more meaning-filled than others I've been to, officiated by the groom's best friend, with speeches by the grooms' close friends and family.

Yes, grooms. Two.

Big deal, right? To me, not at all.

But to the two of them, it was a big deal, because they, sadly and ridiculously, aren't able to do this legally in our state (yet).

During the ceremony, I found myself fighting back tears. The tears were because I know these two, I have felt the love they have for each other (trust me, it's palpable), and I know what marriage is like. Watching them watching each other was so sweet that I couldn't help but choke up. I am so excited for them to join into a contract with each other and with the rest of the world, a contract that says "I'm worthy of this guy's love." That's something that has helped me get out of bed some mornings.

One of their friends was sitting directly opposite me during the ceremony. He was weeping without abandon, and we made eye contact a few times during the speeches. I didn't get a chance to talk to him until just before he left. He approached me, and said "Thank you. I was watching you during the ceremony and I could tell by the look on your face that you get it. You totally get it. You are a beautiful person. You get it." To which I replied, "What's to get? They are in love, and they're doing exactly what they're supposed to be doing. I'm just glad I could be here to share it with them."

My friend Pete was in the closet when we were in high school. I never actually thought about his sexuality, because he wasn't so far in the closet that he overcompensated, so I just thought he didn't have a girlfriend because he was focused on his goals. (Which he was; I've never met another 16 year old who knows what he wants in a career and ends up there as directly as Pete did. Wow.) Looking back, I still wouldn't pick up on it even though our culture is much more accepting these days. However, I did think that something was missing for him. Because I knew even back then how much I wanted a family, I was worried that he wouldn't have time to find one because he was so focused on a career.

I know now that I don't have to worry about him. He has his family, and it's beautiful. Chris's eyes say it all, even when they're shrouded in $2,000 Cartier sunglasses. They love each other. What is there to get about that?

You might have noticed that I'm raising two boys. My wish for my boys is that they grow up to be kind-hearted, giving people like my friend Pete, and that they're able to find love, too.

Mazel Tov, Pete and Chris. We love you.

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