Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Unready

As Fezzik was getting dressed yesterday, I noticed his hair looked particularly dirty. Odd, because his every-other-nightly shower had happened 9 hours before this.

I had a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach: my little seven-and-a-half year old is growing up! Soon there will be armpit hairs! And worse! I've heard and read the horror stories of early-onset puberty due to the hormones in our food, but I've really counted on us avoiding that because he is a vegetarian, and we don't buy milk with rBGH.

Anywhoodle, I asked him to slap his baseball cap on that greasy mane, and off we went, me with a mental note to make him shower more frequently from here on out.

After dinner, I asked him to jump in the shower, which he did. I told him to wash his hair really well, at least twice.

He came plodding down the hall after his shower, and Lawnboy and I looked at his hair, then caught eachother's eye. Something was just not right.

"Fezzik, did you wash your hair?"

"Yes. Twice."

"Did you wash it with shampoo?"

"Yes, but it didn't foam up very well."

"Did you rinse your hair?"

"Yesssss."

"Did you use conditioner?"

"Nooooooooooo."

"Can you please show us the shampoo you used?"

Plod, plod, plod back to the bathroom, then out to us with this in his hands:


Whoops! No wonder it didn't "foam up" very well! He used the BABY OIL!

I can see how it happened; we use the same brand of shampoo and baby oil. The only difference is the small words on the (almost identical) label, and the pump.

Note to Fezzik: please use THIS from now on!

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