I've spent the last month agressively chewing my fingernails for nothing, apparently. My forehead (and now chin) can return to their normal, unblemished state, thank you very much. I can get a decent night's sleep, finally.
You see, I was not laid off today.
Phew, I think.
I was really upset about the handful of people I know who were. Some of which had great passion for what we do. Others of which have families to feed, clothe and shelter. I'm sick about that, actually. I think the bad skin is here to stay for a while.
It was so weird sitting at my desk receiving the IM's from other friends who "made it through" - "Are you ok?" How do I respond to that question? Honesty wasn't the best policy here. I'm glad I was able to maintain my composure enough to say "I'm ok, and I'm glad you're still here."
I used to work for a company that put its people first. Not so much, anymore. We were told to "stay focused" today. We did, on our shock.
Don't tell anyone, but I cracked open the flask I keep in my bottom drawer. It was there in case of emergency.
I feel like this is melodramatic, but it was quite a big deal to me today. If you've been paying attention, you realize that my job is not my life, but the thing is, I do need it. And I'm freaked out about the alternative.